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Buttered toasts and cats

From:  "Ady"

When buttered toast is dropped it usually lands buttered side down and when a cat falls it usually lands on it's feet. So if you strap a piece of buttered toast to a cat's back what happens when the cat falls off of something? Will the cat land on it's feet defeating the buttered toast theory or will the toast land buttered side down defeating the cat landing theory??

After posting this I have come to wonder what kind of people are really out there that are seriously putting toasts on kitty's feet! There has got to be some kind of animal rights law against that! Well heres what we have come up with:

Catt:  What would happens is the cat would fall onto its side due to paranormal quanta thingy reasons

Casey:  All I have to say is......there's only one way to find out. <evil laugh>

Todd:  The cat will land on its feet. A cat quickly turns itself while it is falling. Gravity pulls the buttered side on the toast because it is heavier then the side without butter. Now to actually prove this would be most likely be impossible because it is hard to strap anything to a cats back.

rebel:  the cat weighs more so the cat will land on it's feet

Edwin:  Here is a joke "scientific analysis" that I came up with for the cat-and-buttered-toast problem:
To understand how to analyze this dilemma, we must first understand what it is that makes cats land on their feet and what makes buttered toast always land toast-side down.
For the cat problem:
To start, we will take a diagram of a falling cat. The basic forces acting on the cat are gravity and air resistance, given by mg and
b(v^2) respectively, where m is the mass of the cat, g is the gravitational acceleration constant, b is the wind resistance constant, and v^2 is the velocity at any one point in time, squared. We know that average the mass, m, of a cat is about 3 kilograms, and we know g, so we know gravity's force mg, but what about b(v^2)? Well, the b for an animal or person can be calculated from Sir Frodenheim's air resistance equation (or "ye winde resistance" as it was called at his time). Sir Frodenheim was compelled to study the dilemma of falling people and animals because of his love for defenestrating his coworkers and their pets. Sir Frodenheim's equation is given by:
b = (A * rho * e^2 * delta) / (theta * kappa * flappa * shmelta * IHateTheseStupidGreekLetters)
where A is the flux (perpendicular surface area), rho is air's density (or the density of whatever fluid the creature is falling through), delta is a value determined by the manner in which the cat is released, and is usually higher if the object is thrown forcefully, for example if the cat is punted out the window like a football, and e^2 is of course the constant e squared. The remaining variables represent different weather and humidity conditions and are generally very close to one, so they may be ignored.
Another condition we need to mention, however, is that the weight of the cat is distributed unevenly throughout its body, for it is not a completely symmetric object. The body of the cat of course has more mass than the legs, and so a torque that acts on the body is created by gravity.
Looking at gravity alone, one would conclude that the cat would land on its back because of the torque. But, when we plug in the air resistance equation, we get greater upwards forces acting on the body, because it has more surface area, to which b is proportional (see Frodenheim's equation above). These upwards forces generate an upwards torque on the body (because they do not act on the cat's center of gravity) that invariably aligns the cat straight-up on its feet.
For the buttered toast problem:
The buttered toast problem is almost identical to the cat problem. In the buttered toast problem, the air resistance constant, b, is enormous on the un-buttered side of the toast because the toast's bumpy, porous structure give it a huge A value, while the liquid molten butter on the other side covers these bumps and holes, drastically reducing b. Again, we get a torque caused by air resistance, but this time it acts upwards on the un-buttered side, and so this side invariably flips upward, leaving the buttered side facing the ground until the toast lands.
Now for the joining of the two:
Now we must analyze what happens when a piece of buttered toast is strapped onto a cat's back, buttered-side up, of course. In this situation, we must consider the added element of the rope - we need to know how ropes behave in terms of air resistance. It turns out that this problem was solved during the Spanish Inquisition in 1478 by Don Alejandro, who was hired by Torquemada to make a more efficient gallows for hanging people during the Inquisition. Don Alejandro theorized that the air resistance, I, could be found with b(v^3) where v is the velocity at any one time cubed, and b is the air-resistance constant. He further theorized that b could be found with:
b = (Q * rho * ((T * pi / 2) * (sin(theta) / L)) )
where rho is the density of the air (or the density of whatever fluid the rope is falling through), ((T * pi / 2) * (sin(theta) / L)) represents the flux (perpendicular surface area) of the rope since T is the rope's thickness, L is the rope's length, and theta is the rope's angle from the vertical as it falls. Finally, Q is a constant that is determined by the rope's material and construction.
In his studies, Don Alejandro found that the value of Q was zero when the angle, theta, was zero, but rose to enormous values when theta strayed even the slightest from zero. After further research, Don Allejandro found that this occurred because of billions of micro-grooves that occur in any rope because of the splintering, wooden nature of rope material. These grooves form pockets and cause wind resistance, and their sheer numbers causes the rope to "grab" the air at any angle and twist with great force until the rope is falling oriented horizontally with the ground.
So, when something with a rope tied to it is falling, such as a "heretic" with a noose on his neck, as in Don Allejandro's case, or in our case a cat and a piece of buttered toast, the object will land in whatever orientation keeps any exposed rope horizontal to the ground. In our case, the rope will be exposed at the juncture between the bread and the cat, where the rope goes up, across a tiny gap between the cat and the toast, and up to the toast. Since the rope is exposed at this juncture, this is where the cat-toast combination will land.
In other words, the cat will land on its side with the toast tied to its back, and so the toast will have also landed, and both are touching the ground.
Of course, this analysis is only an idealization. Many different conditions can occur that would throw off this calculation. For example, you might be only be using the buttered toast as flavoring as you use the cat to feed your pet bear, in which case the cat doesn't even land on the ground but in the bear's mouth. Or, you could be a bastard and try to prove my analysis wrong by using smooth nylon fishing wire so that Allejandro's equation doesn't apply. And, in many cases, the cat will simply use magical powers to fly away.

Pector:  I have actually tested the combined theories of cats and buttered toast on a neighbor's cat. The result of 20 tests brings me to the conclusion that two things will actually happen. 1) the cat will land on its feet and 2) it will immediately roll over due in part to the buttered toast effect and in part a (usually) vain attempt to remove the toast from it's back. After 20 attempts from various (cat-safe) heights, the neighbor's cat has decided to stay away from me at all costs. I am currently seeking more cat volunteers and a research grant for further exploration of this phenomenon.

i know all:  well at first thought you would think on the side but WRONG!!!!!!!! bcuz if it did then neither the toast or the cat myth would be true. for them both to stay true the toast would have to fall off the cat and then land butter side down and then the cat lands feet first OR what you could do is just when you strap the toast onto the cat have it butter side down

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